WacGyver Episode 10.5: The Chat Show!

We've heard a few people out there suggest that WacGyver should do a mini-episode, so we decided to try it out.

With the loss of Episode 10, we decided to have a fun "quick" episode, where Tim and Chris talk about their experience so far.  It was fun to record, so naturally I assume it will be fun for everyone else to listen to.  We talk about everything you've never wanted to hear about, AND MORE!  

So buckle up kids, and enjoy....

Episode 10.5: The Chat Show!

WacGyver Weekly Breakdown!

WacGyver here, and we're bringing something new this week.  We have recorded an open talk mini episode (which is just as long as our regular episodes), and Chris and Tim talk about a wide variety of subjects!  We list our top 3 episodes, and then ramble on about anything from Subway to Game of Thrones!  Exciting times!

We had a lot of fun recording the episode and will hopefully do another one like it soon.  Look out for that on Thursday.

Other than that, it will probably be a slow week.  We will try to have some Untold Opening Gambits put together for June, and hopefully record episode 11 soon.  As always, we love the continued interest in our show, and thank everyone who keeps coming back for more.  You're the best!

WacGyver Weekly Update: Nighttime Edition!

Nothing sexual, just updating at night.

Really, not much to update.  We will attempt to record a "Mini" episode this week to take the place of episode 10, and maybe try to get an Untold Opening Gambit up by the end of the week.

For the mini-show, we were thinking of calling it Phoenix Files, Opening Gambit Edition, or something like that.  We here at the WacG podcast are always up for suggestions, so let us know if you have one.

Also, if you have any questions you'd like us to answer on the show, ask them here, on Twitter/Facebook, or shoot us an e-mail at WacGyver1985@gmail.com.  Don't worry, I'll remind everyone via social media when we record the show.

We love that people are checking out the show!  Tell your friends!  If you ALREADY told your friends, and they haven't checked out the show yet, then they aren't really your friends.  Trust me, I've lost roughly 46 friends because of this podcast/my dedication to growing a sweet MacGyver mullet.  Mainly because of the mullet.

So thank you to our 6 fans, we do this for you.

WacGyver Crew.

WacGyver Episode 9: The Prodigal!

This sawdust ought to stop them!

New episode is live, and this episode of MacGyver is as confusing as ever!  

WacGyver Episode 9: The Prodigal!

In this episode, we see the alternate show that Angus MacGyver starred in called, "The Relocator."

Mac works with the US Marshals to hide people who rat out their mob families. 

The first man-on-man kiss on network TV.

We had a great time recording this episode!  We also attempted to record episode 10, but the file was corrupted, and we lost it forever.  Total bummer.  So, if anyone out there wants to re-record it for us, or with us, let us know!

Thank you for listening!  All 6 of you!

The WacGyver Team

Full Metal Wacket

Full Metal Wacket

By

Alan Smithee III

Night Time Exterior. Street, Present Day

MacGvyer is sitting in his car at a traffic light it's raining and the car in front of him turn signal is flashing. He stares at it. Close up of his eyes the red light flashing over and over. He has a 1000 yard stare.


Flashback

Macgvyer holding flashlight with a red lens. He is in a small in tunnel.


Vietnam 1970

Voice over: Old uncle Olaf used to spin yarns about how in WW1 he would tunnel under allied trenches. Yep, he fought for the other guys. …twice but that's a story for another time. I wonder what advice he would have for me now? Probably watch out for trip lines (pulls out Swiss Army knife cuts wire in front of him then uses a paper clip as replacement pin for grenade)

Voices speaking Vietnamese up ahead.

MacGvyer shuts off flashlight.

He crawls to end of tunnel uses the blade on his Swiss Army knife as a mirror to look around corner.

Voice over: Uncle Olaf always told me "eine saubere klinge kann licht in jeden feind seele zu bringen." Or if you can’t remember your high school German "A clean blade can bring light to any enemy soul."  Its a good thing I polished up my Swiss Army knife before we left the fire base. I can see the two North Vietnamese regulars are cooking food and won't see me coming.

MacGyver crawls into the room. The enemy soldiers have their back to him.

They are wearing aprons while preparing food.

MacGyver picks up the boiling pot and throws it at them.

Then he flips over a table on them, knocking both soldiers out.

MacGyver: You should have ordered out. I know a great little Thai place not too far from here….its Thailand. (looks at camera winks)

MacGyver (looking at map): Interesting. It looks like all enemy supply lines go through this village a few clicks north of here.

The rest of MacGyver’s squad shows up.

Fontanna: Mac? You okay? We heard screaming.

MacGyver: I'm fine. Nothing down here but a couple of overcooked won tons. (camera zooms in on spilt won tons on floor next to knocked out soldiers ) I've got some good intel for the sarge.


Jungle camp

Sgt. Callahan: Good work MacGyver with the map you found in that tunnel complex, we might be able to choke off Charlie's supply chain in this sector. I'm going to need you to do some recon on that village.

MacGyver: No problem Sarge. You want me to use one of my patent explosions to notify you when the coast is clear?

Sgt. Callahan: MacGyver stick with protocol we don't need another Mai Lai massacre on our hands.


Close up on MacGyver looking at the village with binoculars. He sees POWs kept in cells. They are submerged in water up to their necks. (Deer Hunter style) MacGyver checks his kit one more time, just to make sure his emergency flare gun is still intact.

MacGyver voice over: looks like I've got to get my brothers in arms out of there before they call in the angels of death to drop fire on the village.

MacGyver cuts some nearby bamboo. He slips under water and uses the bamboo to breathe underwater.

As he approaches the cells, MacGyver motions to prisoners to keep quiet.

MacGyver (to self): I need to cause a distraction so I can get these guys out of here.

A water buffalo walks into the shot, and MacGyver smiles.

MacGyver: Well, it looks like I've got my distraction.

MacGyver voice over: I might want to get a lay of the land here. Maybe see if I can use anything else with that water buffalo to cause a distraction.  One big enough to keep Charlie busy and also so I can let the rest of my team know to rain death on these villagers...... I mean enemy combatants.

MacGyver sneaks around village comes to hut and sees a Buddhist monk tied up.

MacGyver: Hey Curly, I have a proposition for you. How would you like to help some nice young American boys get home to ma and apple pie and make a statement about your antiwar beliefs?

Buddhist Monk doesn't speak just nods yes and bows.

MacGyver Voice over: He must have taken a vow of silence. Reminds me the vow of silence my uncle Olaf made me take so I'd never tell anyone about the secret trunk in his attic full of gold teeth and funny looking lamp shades.

MacGyver hands the monk  a bottle of lighter fluid sitting on the ground. The monk douses himself with the lighter fluid.

MacGyver: You'd better make this count, Curly.

They move to the far side of the village opposite side of the p.o.w’s.

An enemy soldier happens upon them.

MacGyver throws his binoculars at the soldier followed by the monk doing a series of front flips then round houses to the face of the enemy.

MacGyver: So much for being a pacifist, Curly. Uncle Olaf could have used someone like you when the hit squad from the Simon Wiesenthal center came a knocking that fateful October day.

The Monk bows.

MacGyver: Okay Curly you know the drill.  Ride the water buffalo into the center of the village. Once you’ve got their attention, I’ll shoot my flare gun at you which will signal my team to radio the f4 phantoms for the air strike. During the chaos I will free the P.O.W.s

The Monk is sitting on water buffalo, with the bell around its neck is going off. He is in the center of town surrounded by NVA. MacGyver is in tree pointing his flare gun at the monk.

MacGyver: Just hang on a bit longer Curly…..just waiting for your signal.

Monk: Kundun avenge me!

MacGyver fires the flare gun, and the monk explodes into a ball of fire along with water buffalo. He jumps down from tree and lands on soldier, knocking him. He runs to the p.o.w. cells frees the soldiers.

Cut to a F4 Phantom Pilot stock footage.

Pilot: Whiskey Tango this is call sign Critical Hit ready to drop payload, are friendly’s clear? Over.

Sarge: You have the go ahead Critical Hit light them up

MacGyver is running with pow’s up hillside when massive napalm explosion occurs and destroys village.

MacGyver is sitting on hillside talking to p.o.w.s as they watch the village burn.

MacGyver: Looks like you guys got a one way ticket home. A hero’s welcome for you awaits. By a hero's welcome I mean, 'don't wear your uniform in public unless you want some long hairs to throw blood on you and call you a baby killer.' You might have been better off in that cage.

POW 1: No I don't think so. Our wounds will heal over time brother. The physical ones sooner than the mental ones. Who knows maybe some day the American civilians will support the troops, but still not give a shit enough about policy to care about the government atrocities committed in the name of freedom.

POW 2: I don’t get how that water buffalo caused such a big explosion.

MacGyver: Well it’s the rainy season and water buffalo tend have large amounts of methane built up in their bodies. That and the stick of Dynamite placed in its rectum helped as well.

Just then out of no where the head of water buffalo comes falling down from the sky and lands in Macgyver's lap. In a close up of its face, the water buffalo is making a car horn sound out of its mouth.


Flashback to present MacGyver in his car appears to be in a cold sweat. Police Officer knocking on MacGyver's car window.

Police Officer: Hey you okay buddy? I got a call that your car has been blocking the intersection for last 30 minutes. You haven't been drinking have you?

MacGyver: No, sorry officer I'll be on my way.

Macgyver turns on radio news report comes on

News Reporter: While the strike rate has dropped drastically in recent months, the constant presence of circling drones — and accompanying tension over when, or whom, they will strike — is a crushing psychological burden for many residents"

Radio is changed, then Beach Boys "Wouldn't It Be Nice" comes on

The End 

Weekly Update!

Seems like we've got a ton of support for our "Untold Tales of MacGyver" segments.  Thanks to all the people out there reading them!  We'll be putting up another one this week, along with WacGyver Podcast Episode 9, so be ready!

We're having a lot of fun doing this, so I hope that the people out there are enjoying it as well.

Also, thanks to our fan in New Zealand!

As always, if you have any comments or corrections, you can hit us up here, on Twitter, or on Facebook.

Thank you to everyone checking us out week to week!

Allow Me To Introduce Myself

 Alan Smithee III

Hello I would like to introduce myself. My name is Alan Smithee III and it is my mission to relaunch MacGyver so today's future engineers, scientists, and hockey players will have a positive role model to guide them on their journey. My father wrote many fan scripts after the show went off the air and it drove him to madness which caused him to take his own life after the airing of The Lost Treasure of Atlantis episode in 1994. He wrote a very similar script 5 years before that one aired.

I will be using this blog to post some of my scripts in hopes it will spark an online movement similar to that of the Kony movement to get MacGyver put back on the air. I hope you enjoy my script for the episode I call Daedalus and Son. This is for you Dad, see you at the crossroads.

Best Regards

Alan Smithee III

MacGyver: Daedalus and Son

Location Key West in a bar MacGyver is sitting holding a letter.

Voice over: Ernest Hemingway once won a writing contest that required its participants to write the saddest yet shortest story. He submitted one line "baby shoes for sale never been worn" The thought of being a father frightened me and today I'm going to meet my son for the first time.

Woman enters bar with a 10 year old boy.
Boy is wearing a flannel with an Edmonton Oilers hat.

MacGvyer: Linda, hi and you must be Icarus.

Icacrus: Nobody calls me that. Most people call me Ike.

Icarus(looks at mom): What do I call him?

Linda: You can call him..(MacGyver interrupts)

MacGvyer: You can call me Dad or my friends call MacGvyer.

Icarus: Well we're not friends and Dad sounds weird because I never had a Dad. Can I call you something else?

MacGvyer: Angus.  You can call me Angus.

Icarus: That's a stupid name but I guess that will have to do.

Linda: I'm sorry MacGvyer, he is a little angry.  I told Icarus that his dad died in a oil rig explosion when he was one. He found our letters and he just so smart like you.  He figured out that you were his father and asked to meet you.

MacGvyer: Don't apologize, I'm here now. Say sport, I rented a fishing boat.  How would you like to go fishing with me?

Icarus: Fishing with a guy who I've never met before sounds like a real blast. Why not? You have ten years to make up for, which can all be wiped out with a single fishing trip.

MacGvyer (gets on his knee): Look... I'm trying here buddy. Just go on this one fishing trip with me.  That's all I'm asking. You'll never have to see me again I promise.

Icarus: Fine.  Only if you promise.

Exterior boat dock
MacGyver is loading up boat
Linda and Icarus walking towards him

MacGyver: Don't worry Linda, I'll have him back in a few hours.

Linda: I'm not worried about him I'm worried about you MacGyver. Are you sure you can handle him?

MacGyver: Linda, in my spare time I was a Big Brother to an inner city kid. So I'm pretty good with kids.

Icarus: Let me get this straight you mentored some kid who was a total stranger meanwhile you had a kid that you brought into this world that you wanted nothing do with?

MacGvyer: Ike your mom and I came to an agreement that it would be best if I stayed out of your life. After Vietnam, I was a mess. I'm better now, pal. I've been working for the government again. I just want a second chance here.

Icarus: A lot of Dads didn't abandon their children after the war. What did you do in the war? Bomb disposal? It's not like you were in the darkness of the jungle battling NVA.

MacGvyer grabs Ike's arm
MacGvyer: Listen you weren't there picking parts of your buddies out of your glorious hockey hair! Just keep your mouth shut about stuff you don't know about, boy!

Linda: MacGvyer stop he's just pushing your buttons. He's smart just like you.

MacGvyer: Sorry guy. lets get going and catch some marlin.

Icarus: Only thing you'll catch is cancer from agent orange, Rambo.

MacGyver: Good one son.... I mean Ike. (nervous smile)

Close up on the name of Mac's boat, "The Land's End II"
MacGvyer and Ike are fishing

MacGvyer: Having fun fella?

Icarus: One of Moms boyfriends takes me fishing all the time. He has a bigger boat.

MacGvyer: She have a lot boyfriends, sport?

Icarus: What's a lot? Like 10? Ten years you've waited to meet me so I think that's a lot. She has a boyfriend for every year you've been traveling around being a "Big Brother" to other kids.

MacGvyer: Oh...hey I almost forgot I have a present for you.

Mac pulls a package out and hands it to Ike. It's a Swiss Army knife with Icarus engraved on the side.

Icarus: Cool, thanks. Yeah, that's a safe gift to give a ten year old. What else you got for me a gun?

MacGvyer: I don't like guns.

Off in the distance they see a reflection.

MacGvyer: Looks someone might be in trouble, Sport. We should check it out.

Icarus: But this is so much fun.

MacGvyer: Put your fishing pole away.

MacGyver steers the boat toward the reflection.
As they approach they see a group of boats in a circle. Then a Cessna flys low over them and a package falls out. The crewmen on the boats are carrying AK47s and uzis.

MacGyver: Looks like we just stumbled upon drug smugglers son.

Icarus: We are going to get out of here and call the Coast Guard right?

MacGvyer: No, I have a better idea.

Icarus: What?!

One of the boats spots them and starts heading toward them. Icarus goes below deck.

MacGvyer: Hello there, I'm MacGyver. You guys enjoying this fine boating weather?

The crew members open fire on MacGvyer. MacGvyer grabs a snorkel and mask then jumps off the boat. Crew boards the boat. They take Icarus captive.

MacGvyer is swimming, avoiding detection from the other boats.

Crew Member 1: He must be dead.

Crew Member 2: What do we do with the kid?

Crew Member 1: We will wait till morning. El Jeffe will know what do to. Come, we have more drops to recover.

Night has fallen. MacGyver is treading water, following the boats in silence.

Voice over: I needed to find out what boat my son was on then figure out a way to stop these drug runners. I'll just pick the boat that has the most noise coming from it seems they are pretty distracted.

MacGyver climbs over side of boat. Ike is tied up on the floor.

Crewmen are partying, drinking, and snorting cocaine from their pinky nails. Some are dancing to Pat Benatar's "Love is a battlefield".

MacGyver: Hey, son, are you okay?

Icarus: ya I'm fine.... I thought you were dead. Way to abandon me twice, Dad..

MacGyver: I won't do it again, I promise. Now did you see anything that we can use as a distraction?

Icarus: I don't know all they have are these guns and giant reflective mirrors for signaling the drug planes.  Also, a ton of this white powder. One of Mom's boyfriends is always rubbing it on his gums and yelling, "DAMN!"

MacGyver: Shh! I have an idea. I'm going to need you to stay here tied up.

Icarus: What? Why? Let's just get out of here now.  You literally just said you'd never abandon me again!

MacGvyer: Shhhhh! Ever hear of Archimedes?

Icarus: Was Archimedes the guy from Ancient Greece, that legend has it built a death ray out of mirrors?
No never heard of him.

MacGvyer : You are so my son.

Mac rubs Ikes head, and puts a life jacket on him.  He ties up Ike then sneaks onto each of the six boats, stealing the mirrors and duffel bags filled with cocaine from each. Then he finally swims back to his boat which the bad guys have towed with them, to put his plan into motion.

Voice over:
Old Archimedes had the idea that if he put a bunch mirrors at a particular angle to the sun it would create a "death ray." Scholars never proved that he built the death ray but I have a hunch that Archimedes didn't have his mirrors coated in 100% pure Colombian cocaine. Hopefully this will act as an accelerant and turn my mirrors into a death ray. Now just to figure how to position these at the proper the angel. (Holds up a sexton)

The sun comes up, with MacGvyer is on his boat rigging up six large mirrors tied together with fishing line.

Once the sun hits the mirror, the "death ray" obliterates the boats. After the smoke clears, Icarus is floating on the water among the wreckage.

Icarus: Dad, that was awesome! How did you figure it out so i wouldn't get killed?

MacGvyer: You're my son...a survivor. You survived the abortion I made your mother get I knew you would survive this.

Icarus: I love you Dad...... MacGvyer.

MacGvyer: Does that mean you see me as your father and a friend?

Icarus: Yes (gives thumbs up)

Coast Guard chopper comes flying in.
They airlift MacGyver and Icarus out of the water.

Shot of The helicopter blades spinning then cuts to a ceiling fan spinning. The camera pans down to a rec room with hospital patients sitting around. On the wall it says Hines VA psych ward. Two orderlies come walking In. One is showing a new employee around

Orderly 1: Now this is the rec room most of them sit around they don't do too much.

One patient is sitting in a wheel chair wearing a flannel shirt and Calgary flames hat. It's MacGvyer but looks like he has been lobotomized.

Orderly 2 :What's his deal with him (points at MacGvyer)

Orderly 1: Oh that's Angus Chumwaski he's been here since 74. A classic case of shell shock. He hasn't spoken in years. He just sits there looks out the window.

Orderly 2: What's he holding? Is that a Swiss Army knife and a paper clip?

Orderly 1: Yeah, that's correct. What ever you do don't try and take them from him. The last orderly that tried to take it from him got the business end of the corkscrew in his throat from that crazy bastards Swiss army knife.

Orderly 2: Got it.

Patient: Mac I want to watch The Guyver (repeats 3 times quickly Mac The Guyver!)

Orderly 1: How many times have I told you Sgt. Phoenix? We can't afford every straight to video movie starring Mark Hamil? We don't have it. I'll put on the hockey game for you guys okay?  Nurse McGintty will be giving your sponge bath tonight.

Intertcom: Paging Dr. Olof code blue.

Close up on lobotomized MacGvyer he grins fade to black

Fin

Untold Opening Gambit: From Russia (With its Stupid commie Face) With Love

EXT. MILITARY BASE IN A SNOW-COVERED TUNDRA

SUPERIMPOSE:  “Middle of some godless commie rat's nest that will soon be steamrolled by the might & virtue of American Democracy. Present day.”

[MACGYVER crouches behind a parked military truck, sizing up the two guards at the prison gate. His MULLET is GLORIOUS]

MACGYVER (V.O.)

Back in my wily teenage years, I once got the notion that I’d like to get a peep in the girls’ locker room after gym class. Only problem was getting by Mrs. Stapleton, the gym teacher. The secret then, as now, is to hide in plain sight.

[MACGYVER puts on a large FUR HAT and hat saunters right past the guards, despite the fact that he is wearing a FLANNEL SHIRT and JEANS. He espies a large tent in the middle of camp and heads inside]

INT. TENT

[An AMERICAN PILOT is sitting on one of several WOODEN CRATES strewn about with his hands and feet tied]

PILOT

Who are you?

MACGYVER

I’m MacGyver. I’m here to rescue you.

PILOT

Nice. Is MacGyver your first name? That’s unusual.

MACGYVER

No, it’s my last name.

PILOT

Oh. What’s your first?

MACGYVER

Don’t worry about it.

PILOT

Seriously? You can’t just tell me? You’re being ridiculous.

MACGYVER

No one calls me by my first name, okay? Just drop it.

PILOT

Don’t be an asshole, Mr. MacGyver

MACGYVER (yelling)

IT’S JUST MACGYVER!

PILOT

Take it easy, fella. You trying to get us killed? Cut these ropes off me.

[MACGYVER pulls out his SWISS ARMY KNIFE and cuts the PILOT’S bonds]

MACGYVER

So what’s your name?

PILOT

Andrzejewski

MACGYVER (under breath)

Prick.

PILOT

So how do we get out of here? Wait, how did you get past the guards anyway?

MACGYVER

Same way I snuck into the girl’s locker room in high school: in disguise. Back then I passed myself off as the gym teacher.

PILOT

You stole the gym teacher’s clothes? That worked?

MACGYVER

No, I used this very Swiss army knife to flay her and wore her skin.

PILOT

Hahaha. Gross.

MACGYVER

Yeah, I had to spend a decade in an institution, but I’m...better now.

PILOT

Holy cow, you’re serious.

MACGYVER

(stares)

PILOT

(stares)

MACGYVER

Anywho, let’s see if there’s anything useful in these crates.

[They open various CRATES, revealing several AK-47’S, BULLETS, and VODKA.]

MACGYVER

Hm, well these certainly fit the stereotype. Wait, you’ve just been sitting around here in a tent full of guns and ammo and never did anything with them?

PILOT

Hey man, they told me not to look in the boxes.

MACGYVER

Fair enough. OK, help me disassemble one of these rifles.

PILOT

Wait, seriously? Why don’t we just use the guns?

MACGYVER

I hate guns. Never use ‘em.

PILOT

It really seems like the best course of action.

MACGYVER

No guns! This is non-negotiable.

PILOT

OK, weirdo. What do I do?

[They disassemble one of the rifles. MACGYVER uses his knife to carve a small hole in the removed barrel of the AK-47. He then jams the barrel onto a piece of wood from the broken crate until it sticks, then uses his knife to pry open a bullet and pours some gunpowder down the barrel. Finally, he drops a BULLET into the barrel and hands the contraption to the PILOT]

MACGYVER

Now, when the time comes, I want you to light this [hands him a match] and stick it in the little hole I made there. The gunpowder should ignite, sending the bullet inside toward your target with lethal velocity.

PILOT

So it’s a gun?

MACGYVER

I told you, no guns.

PILOT

No, you took apart a perfectly good machine gun, and made a less-efficient gun out of the barrel.

MACGYVER

No guns, dammit! I hate guns!

PILOT

How can you not see...you know what? Forget it. Let’s move.

[MACGYVER sits down and removes his SHOES and SOCKS. He opens two bottles of VODKA and stuffs the SOCKS into the top]

PILOT

Molotov cocktails? Yes. YES!

[MACGYVER lights the MOLOTOVS with his other MATCH and sprints out of the TENT]

MACGYVER

Eat hellfire, you commies!

[He hurls a MOLOTOV at one of the GUARDS, who bursts into FLAME. HOLY SHIT.]

PILOT

Oh my God, you’re completely insane!

MACGYVER (widens eyes)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

END

Weekly Update! (Explosion noises)

WacGyver weekly rundown.

Hello everyone!  We will be having a new "Untold Opening Gambit" later this week, where MacGyver takes on some pesky Russians, so be prepared for that!

I have heard a few murmurs about people being upset because we are mocking the show, and I'd like to address that now:

We are mocking the show.  We watch episodes, and then laugh about elements of the plot, characters, and science that don't really make sense (Which, so far, is most of the show).  This is not meant to cause offense to anyone who holds the show dear, but just for our simple amusement.  We are looking at this show through modern eyes.  There is a camp value for sure, but it doesn't really hold up.  I'm sure as we get further into the show that the episodes will become more enjoyable to watch, but the first season has been pretty rough so far.

I felt the same way when people made fun of Howard the Duck, but then I watched that movie as an adult, and was mad that I ever liked it in the first place.  Must have been the duck boobs.

We are open to all comments, corrections, and questions that anyone has about MacGyver.  I personally love learning about the trivia of each episode.

Anyway, I'm not trying to upset anyone, I'm just trying to fully explain what exactly it is that we do.  This does not make us any less of a fan of MacGyver, we just enjoy it in a different way.

Thank you very much to ANYONE who has listened to the show, even if you didn't really like it.

Untold Opening Gambits! MacGyver VS Truckasaurus!

Opens on a giant arena with a packed parking lot.  Inside, Monster Trucks are speeding all around as the audience cheers.

MacGyver voice over: You know, sometimes in life you just need to unwind.  I remember when my old man would take me out to the tractor pull, after a long day of instilling folksy lessons in me.  We'd eat some corn on the cob and watch a bunch of salt-of-the-earth Minnesota farmers blow off some steam.

That's why I decided to take my Little Brother out to the local arena, to catch Truckasaurus.  The big plan was to sit back and relax, but as we all know, things don't always go as planned.

Outside the arena, 5 men get out of an unmarked van.

Klaus:  OK men, once we hijack the Truckasaurus, we'll use it to break into Fort Knox!  The Americans will never know what hit them!  HAHAHAHAHA!

(All laugh)

Later, inside, MacGyver is heading to the bathroom with his Little Brother, and notices 5 men in "terrorist" clothes sneaking into a restricted area.

Mac:  You wait here Tommy, I need to check something out.

MacGyver abandons a small child in an arena bathroom to go follow suspicious looking men.

Mac tracks the men through the bowels of the stadium down to the garage level, where the monster trucks for the show are being looked over and worked on.  Mac looks around the massive exhaust filled room for the suspicious men, when he sees them on the opposite side, where they have just started tinkering with Truckasaurus.

Mac:  Now that's a mecha monster I'd like to see in action, but not like this!

Mac checks his pockets to make sure he still has his paperclip, pocket knife, and 2 matches.  Now that he is ready, Mac sneaks down to the garage floor and puts on some mechanics overalls and a grease stained cap.

He approaches the 5 men.  He can overhear them a little and they have thick East German accents, but are still speaking to each other in English.

Heinrich:  Klaus, this needs to move faster!  I'll take Albrecht and Otto to the cockpit, you and Wilhelm rig it up down here.

Heinrich and the two others swiftly move to the other end, and as they move, Mac can see 3 men unconscious on the ground, covered hastily by a tarp.  He addresses the 2 men still tinkering with the engine.

Mac:  Well hello there gentlemen, my name's MacGyver, and I think you could use my help.

Klaus:  I'm sorry mein freund, but we seem to be all finished here.

Wilhelm hits MacGyver in the head with a pipe and the world goes dark.

MacGyver wakes up in a dark enclosed space, with a lot of noise around him.  He feels around, and he seems to be in the trunk of a car.  He removes his pocket knife from his pocket while feeling around for the latch.

MacGyver voice over:  You know, sometimes you need the right tool for the job, and sometimes you just need a little Midwestern luck.

Mac jams the knife into the latch and prys it open.

He is in the middle of the arena, with monster trucks racing all around him.  He narrowly dives to avoid being crushed by Bigfoot, America's favorite monster truck.  As he rolls away he notices the terrorist he was talking to in the driver's seat.

Mac notices a few men out of their trucks having a conversation off to the side.  He runs to the closest one and hops in, speeding after Bigfoot.

Truck Driver:  Hey!  That's my truck!

MacGyver:  Sorry pal, I'll have her home in no time!

Bigfoot heads out of the stadium and on to an access road.  MacGyver gives chase.

MacGyver:  You guys ruined my day out with my Little Brother!

As MacGyver turns off of the access road, he notices a giant ball of flame heads toward his monster tuck.

MacGyver:  Truckasaurus!

He leaps from the monster truck as it bursts into flame.  in the distance he can hear the men cheering.

MacGyver:  They think they got me, now's my chance.

Mac runs toward Truckasaurus, looking for the section the men were working on.  As he approaches the base, he notices a hatch, and pops it open.

MacGyver:  They must have been messing with the speed compensator.  I think I've just the remedy for this, luckily the fuel tank is right behind it!

Digging through his pocket, Mac pulls out his paperclip and pokes a hole in the fuel line.  He then grabs his 2 matches.  One he soaks in gasoline and then jabs it into the hole he just made.  He uses the other match to light the soaked one, and then runs to the side of the road.

BOOM!  Truckasaurus explodes, sending a pillar of flame and smoke into the sky.  The explosion kills 4 of the terrorists, with only Klaus left alive.

Klaus:  MacGyver!  You'll pay for this!

Truckasaurus crumbles, falling on Klaus and killing him instantly.

MacGyver:  Now that's what I call a crumbling regime!

MacGyver turns around to see his Little Brother in the street, a look of awe on his face.

Tommy:  Wow, MacGyver!  You are the coolest Big Brother ever!

MacGyver:  I know buddy, I know.

They walk back to the stadium, laughing together while the giant wreckage in the background continues to burn.

WacGyver Episode 8: Hellfire!

Oh, it's here!  

The latest episode of WacGyver is up, and boy did we suffer.

In this episode, we deal with roughly 15 minutes of plot, thinly stretched over 45 minutes of TV.  Mac reunites with some friends he is supposed to be close with and based on his arrival, their whole world turns to shit.

Chris and Tim are joined by Sean "Thundergonz" Gonyon and Kirk Clawes.

Enjoy!

WacGyver Episode 8: Hellfire!